Caught in a Riptide

For all the times I felt I was prepared and asked the appropriate questions, this time I was not.  I recently posted about my frustration with an appointment.  I should be getting beyond that frustration, but it seems some lessons come in fragments and drag out the learning process.

I recall a friend of mine who was in Costa Rica and got caught in a riptide.  He said there was a moment of panic, then he knew he had to calm himself and be smart in order to get out of the current.  He was alone.  He went with the current and drifted about two miles down the beach. Then he felt something change and he was able to swim out of the grasp of the current and back to the beach.

During this appointment I felt as though I was caught in a riptide.  I knew I was in a situation I could not change – this time, it was a conversation about my health.  No matter what I said I knew it was a lost cause and only brought sarcasm and rapid-fire comments and questions from the physician.  There was a part of me that just wanted to cry, but I don’t do that often.  So, I just sat there and kept trying, unsuccessfully.

river small_DSC8628

That conversation left me completely lost as to actual diagnosis, treatment plan and even what triggered the response I received.  The physician ended the appointment suggesting a new type of blood test.  He very briefly described the test and asked if I wanted it.  I agreed even though I was not certain why it was necessary – I really just wanted to leave.  Which is exactly what happened next.  He walked out of the exam room and never said another word.

What I found out, after receiving a two-page letter from the company who developed this test, is it cost about $1,000 and it is not always covered by insurance.  That important point was never mentioned and would have had some impact on the decision for the test, especially since it is not truly a medical necessity.

It has been over a month since that appointment.  I recently called to get a copy of all my labwork along with this specialized test.  They were going to fax it to me, but they never did.  So, I have no clue what the results are and have heard nothing from the physician.

With all of my very strong analytical skills, I have still not been able to determine what went wrong during that appointment or where to go from here.  Is this someone I would trust in a time of true crisis?  Do I feel comfortable going back to that office?

I don’t think my expectations are too high, but it is obvious there are decisions to make.



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